Never Again
by sylarbadass
Summary: Logan should never go out with some people... when will he learn? (ON HIATUS FOR THE TIME BEING)
1. Chapter 1

(Logan POV)

I am having the worse day ever so far and it all started when I went to get out of bed.

(This Morning)

I was having a dream about paint, a little person and pickles when I heard someone yelling at me. I groaned out and looked at my clock it was past two in the afternoon. It was Saturday and I didn't want to get up but I guess that wasn't going to happen. "Logan Mitchell get your lazy butt out of that bed right now!" I groaned again, when I heard mama Knight yelling at me. I threw the covers off me, leaned over to grab something when I spilt the glass of water I had sat there sometime last night, I am guessing. It spilled all over the floor.

"Shit..." I rolled my eyes and moved my legs so I could sit my feet down and once I did, the headache hit me like a ton of bricks. I guess I didn't see my chewed up phone wire in the water and well… I sat my feet down and felt a shock of electricity goes through my body. I jumped up, fell over Kendall damn dirty clothes and hit the doorknob and hit the ground. "Son of a Bitch" I yelled out right as I did the bedroom door opened and knocked me in the head. I feel back holding my head rolling on the floor holding my head. The pain was worse now.

"Lazy much" I rolled over and saw James standing in the doorframe looking at me. He had this odd look on his face. "Dude what the hell did you do? Mama Knight is pissed about something." I held my hand out for him to take it, which he did and helped, pulled me up, looking around the room and then back to James staring at me.

"I didn't do anything… I don't think I did…" I told James. Last night is little fuzz for me. I might have gone out with Kendall and Jett. Yes, Jett he and Kendall are trying to get along right now. We might have gone out and had a few drinks, ok a shit load of drinks. I don't even remember coming home all I do remember is a tree and Kendall… "OH MY GOD" I yelled out as James pulled me up. I turned around and saw that Kendall wasn't in the room. "Shit James, I lost Kendall!" I yelled and started to run out the door when we both heard a noise coming from the closet. James and I both looked to one another and ran to the door. I opened up the closet and see Jett; he was wearing my boxes and had paint all over his body. "Jett" I asked. I was so confused about what the hell he was doing here and wearing my close. "Jett" I paused before I asked my next question. "We didn't have sex did we?" I had to ask. I have a veg memory of some blonde kissing me and pushing me up against something and then attacking my lips and neck. James and I watched as Jeff slowly moved around and soon stood up.

"Wow, dizzy here." Jett said as James and I helped him over to the bed. He sat down while James and I stood in front of him. We watched as Jett ran his hands through his hair and then closed his eyes. He was falling asleep again.

"JETT" I screamed out.

"Logan dude voice… No I don't think we did unless you grew long black hair and a nice rack." Jett said. I felt relief wash over me. "These aren't my boxers?" Jett said looking down. I moved over and sat next to him.

"How did we get home? The last think I remember was a tree and Kendall…" after I said that we both looked at each other and then James but before we could say anything the bedroom door swung open to mama Knight standing there and she wasn't looking too happy at all.

"You two living room now" She yelled and grabbed us by our ears and pulled us into the living room. Once we got in there, the whole room was coved in pink and black paint and in the middle of the room was a little person wrapped in a blanket with duct tape all around the blanket and on his head was a baby bonnet on. He was out cold on the couch. Jett and I looked to one another and just smiled. I have no memory of what happened.

"Did we do that?" I whispered to Jett, he just gave me this look that said I don't really know.

"Sit down now!" Mama Knight yelled once more. Jett and I did as we were told and moved over to the couch where that little person was still sleeping. Neither one of us knew what to say because neither one of us knew what the hell happened last night. "Where is Kendall?" she yelled at both of us.

"Woman, voice I do have one hell of a hangover and your voice isn't helping." Jett said picking the pillow up and putting it over his head. I rolled my eyes and looked to mama Knight. Wrong answer, I took a deep breath and looked over at mama Knight.

"We don't know what happen last night. All I remember is going to the club with Kendall and Jett, then a tree, someone kissing me among other things. That is it. I think we lost Kendall…" I said looking down at the ground. I was going to say something else when the pit of my stomach had another idea. I leaned over the side of the couch and puked up whatever was in my stomach from last night.

"Dude not cool…" Jett said as that little person started to wake. Jett and I moved back when he opened his eyes. We all saw each other and started screaming.

"Aaahhhh!" I jumped up and so did Jett, we hit our heads and then fell right back onto the couch. Mama Knight shook her head and walked over to that little dude taking off the bonnet once she did I smiled and started laughing. He had long black hair…

"Well, now we know who you fucked last night." I said doubled over on the couch in laugher. Jett looked up and punched me in the eyes. "You dick" I yelled and fell back on the couch now holding my eye.

"Both of you STOP RIGHT NOW" Mama Knight yelled. God I wish I knew what the hell happened last night. After a few mins Mama Knight called a cab and walked the little dude down into the lobby.

"What the fuck did we do last night?" Jett screamed at me. Sitting back up, I looked at Jett and smirked at him.

"Well, we know who you did last night? Glad is wasn't me…" I said laughing at him, which caused him to punch me in the arm. "Look you ass….." I was cut off when Jett grabbed my hand. "Let go…"

"Logan shut up and look idiot," Jett said shoving my hand in front of my face. They I saw a sliver wedding ban on my finger.

"Oh My God I got married to who?" I was starting to panic it. Jett looked down at his hands and saw nothing there.

"Well, it isn't me… Good you're not my…"

"JETT I AM MARRIED; YOU FUCKED A LITTLE PERSON, YOUR WEARING MY BOXERS! THE LIVING ROOM IS PINK AND BLACK, SO ARE YOU AND KENDALL IS STILL MISSING!" I yelled sitting down on the couch. "AND I CANT SEEM TO GET THIS IMAGE OF A DAMN FUCKING TREE OUT OF MY HEAD!" that is when it hit me. Jett and I looked up at the same time.

"Kendall is the park in a tree!" we both yelled out running out the door. We were running when someone yelled at her. We stopped and saw Camille, Lucy and curled haired Jennifer standing there.

"Logan Mitchell you fucking prick!" Lucy yelled at me before she kneed me on the groan.

"Fuck…" I fell over into a little ball at Jett legs. He looked down at me before Lucy came and punched the shit out of him. He fell back and hit the wall.

"And when you see that dick Kendall give this to him." Lucy said kicking me in the nose before she, Camille and Jennifer walked down the hall. After the pain was gone, I sat up and moved to the wall were Jett was…

"What the hell just happened?" Jett asked me. I have no idea what the hell that was. I don't even remembering seeing the girls last night.

"Your guess is as good as mine, dude what is that?" I said pointing down the hall. Jett and I slowly got up and walked over to where the hall was taped off in police tape. "Are those your clothes?"

"Yup and those are…" Jett and I cocked our heads to the side and then our eyes went wide.

"We killed squirrels last night and painted them pink!" I yelled out, I was now having a panic attack.

"Logan clam down!" Jett grabbed me by my shoulder and shook me. "Logan! Bigger pictures we need to find Kendall." I slowed my breathing down, he was right we needed to find Kendall and find out what the fuck happened. We were getting ready to leave when this big ass dude yelled at us, walked right up to Jett, grabbed him, and pushed him into the wall…

"Where the hell is Moe?"

"Who the hell is Moe?" Jett asked in a little voice. I didn't know what to do I stood there when another dude came and grabbed me and threw me next to Jett.

"Where is Moe?" He asked again.

"What the hell is a Moe?" I asked. I was shaking and trying not to cry. I don't know what came over me I guess I was still little drunk. "We ate him…." I guess that isn't what he wanted to hear. I got punched in the face.

"You little smart ass bitch! Bring Moe to me by 8:00 tonight or else." The dude said and threw Jett back; he slid down and looked at me.

"Please tell me Moe wasn't that little person I think we kid napped and dressed as a baby and the one you had sex with?"

"I hope not…" Jett said.


	2. Chapter 2

(Jett POV)

Damn I don't know what the hell happened last night. We just went out for drinks and now I am so damn confused about everything. Logan is freaking out, Kendall is missing and I am wearing someone else boxers with pink and black paint all over my body. I don't even know how that got there or why. The only thing I can really remember is…. Oh, crap… "Logan!" I yelled out and grabbed him before we reached the lobby. I couldn't let him see what I remember us doing down there last night.

"What Jett! We don't have time for this! Kendall is missing!" Logan yelled at me, which wasn't helping my damn head.

"We can't go out there, I remember something. Logan dude we.…" I didn't get to finish my statement. Bitter saw us and that was it. I grabbed Logan and pulled him back towards my apartment. We ran and ran until we were at my door. I stopped and looked to Logan who was about to have another panic attach. "Clam down…" I could tell another freak out was coming and I was so right.

"JETT WE ARE SO FUCKING DEAD! WE, WE, WE JETT WE…"

"Shut up! I know. Look let's find Kendork and the figure out what to do later." I yelled turning my knob to my apartment, pushing Logan inside, and well…

"Aaahhh!"

"Logan!" I yelled out as a mad pink squirrel jumped Logan and went right for his face. Logan flew back and hit the wall… I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know where the fucking squirrel came from.

"Jett Help!" I ran over to Logan and went to grab the animal but it wouldn't let go. I grabbed it and started pulling. "Jett…. Aaaahhh! Ouch! Jett" I held onto it but it had a death grip. I let go, ran into the kitchen, grabbed the electrical flash swatter, and ran back into the living room to see Logan pulling at the squirrel. It had its little claws in his face.

"Logan don't move…" I said has I swung my arm back…

"Jett no, Jett!"

(Logan POV)

My eyes went to Jett when the squirrel let go and jumped off me but it was too late Jett swung the flash swatter at me and hit me dead in the nose. The 1500 watts went right to my head and I hit the ground twitching…

"Logan…. Dude you ok?" I looked up into Jett's eyes has my body was still twitching before leaping up and grabbing him. "Logan… I was helping!" I jumped on Jett and started banging his head on the floor.

"You hit me with an electrical…" Jett and I heard a banging nose coming from his bedroom; we both looked to one another. I jumped up and so did Jett as we ran. I swung the door open thinking it was Kendall…. However, I was wrong "Fuck! This isn't what I think it is?" Jett ran and slammed into my back making me fall onto the ground.

"Ahhhh!" I jumped up and pushed Jett off me.

"What the…." I saw Jett face he paused and then looked back to me with fear and worry on it. "Please tell me that isn't Moe? Oh, God don't let that me Moe, LOGAN THAT CAN'T BE MOE!" I walked up to Jett and slapped him.

"GET OF HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN!"

"How can I get a hold of myself LOGAN? There is a dead goat on my floor and bird feather everywhere! WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?" I looked to Jett this was so bad… I was going to say something when something growled out at us. I screamed and jumped in Jett's arms. We both looked at each other before Jett threw me on the ground.

"Hey! Jett…" I looked up as his bathroom door started to open. We both stared at it until it opened up all the way…

"Ahhhhhh!"

(Kendall POV)

"Ugh…" I moaned out as I started to open my eyes. Last night was, well I don't exactly remember what happened. I remember Logie, Jett and I wanted to have some fun so we went out to this new bar. I remember drinking a lot of shit and then things got a little fuzz from there I remember a goat, a little person, wedding bells and pink everywhere. I went to move and damn, pain came right to my head and back.

"Fuck… Logan? Jett?" I went to sit up when I did I hit something hard and metal. "Ahh, bitch what the hell?" I looked around and saw that I was in a chicken cope. There were white chickens spray-painted pink with black polka dots all over them. "What the hell happen last night?" I asked myself. I looked down at my body and seen that I was wearing Logan's pants and my shirt was ripped. I see something written on my stomach, I took my shirt off to see what was written on me. I was getting ready to read it when I saw someone jumped up from under some hay. He had a black eye, missing a tooth; half of his head was shaved, he was coved in chicken crap and was wearing a dog collar. He looked to me and all I could do was smile. "You have got to be kidding me?" I thought to myself. I am so dead.

(Logan POV)

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE WE ARE IN, WE STOLD A FUCKING POLICE DOG? JETT WE ARE GOING TO..."

"Logan shut up! You don't have to keep telling me… We fucked up bad! You're married, we killed a goat which I think was Moe! There are feather all over my apartment! I fucked a little person and I don't know what the hell is with all the squirrels and paint! Or why I am in your boxers!" I was watching as Jett had his break down. I wish I knew what the hell happened last night. This was so bad. This has never happened to me before I am never drinking again. We went to the park and found that Kendall wasn't there nor the tree I kept seeing, he wasn't anywhere. My cell phone was fucked up, Jett is lost God knows where. I was getting ready to say something when I saw someone walking up to us. He didn't look all to happy either.

"Jett…" I said tapping his shoulder… "Jett…"

"What Logan!" He turned around and seen that man walking rather fast towards us. "That isn't good is it?.."

"Ya think?" I said… This man was wearing a black suit with a red tie.

"There you two are! I have been looking everywhere for you two? Where is your boy toy at?" The man said. Jett and I looked to one another.

"Boy Toy?" We said together. That dude just looked at us like we were crazy.

"Yea, Blondie you know the one you were all over last night." He said pointing to me. Kendall, wait I was all over Kendall last night. On my God… I MARRIED KENDALL! I guess Jett could see that something was wrong because the next thing I know I felt a slap across my face.

"JETT!" I yelled holding my left cheek.

"You were spacing out again… Wait you married Kendall last night didn't you?"

"Maybe… I don't fucking remember!"

"Guys! Look Jake needs to know if you got rid of all the evidence." I stood there and listen to a man whom I did not know talk about some kind of evidence? What evidence…? Oh, God we murder someone in our drunk state...

"Logan, calm down! Don't do it…." I heard Jett but it was too late.

"WHAT FUCKING EVIDENCE?"

"Shh… Kid keep it down, the cops having been following me. Shh.." That is when we all heard a cop's voice.

"Don't move, hands where I can see them!" I froze at the moment, what else can happen now? How much worse can my day get? Well, my question was answered. That dude pulled out a gun and hit the cop behind the head.

"Go now! Move, move! Meet me at Jakes boys!" I felt Jett grab me and we took off down the road and out of the Palm Woods Park. We ran and ran until we stopped in an alley. I was breathing in and out. This was so fucking bad.

"What the hell was that about?" I looked up at Jett who was leaning up against the ally wall. I stood up straight and walked right in front of him…

"THIS IS ALL YOUR DAMN FAUILT! IF KENDALL AND I DIDN'T AGREE TO GO OUT WITH YOU THEN THIS WOULDN'T BE HAPPEN! AND WHO THE HELL IS JAKE?"

"How is this my fault?" I was going to answer him when I felt something in my neck. I moved my hand and pulled a dart out. I looked at it and then to Jett. I saw one fly into his neck then I passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

**ok here you go! i think all the mistakes are out. I could be wrong.. but please enjoy!**

(Logan POV)

I woke up so damn groggy the last thing I remember was a damn dart! I jumped but found I wasn't able to. I turned my head and saw Jett smiling at me looking rather nervous.

"Before you freak out, I don't even remember agreeing to this." Right after that, I looked down and seen that I was wearing edible underwear and was tired to a wall with fluffy handcuff, I looked around and see we were a sex shop.

"Jett please tell me I am not in a sex shop tired to a wall?" I yelled out. I was getting scared what the fuck did we do! And why the fuck was I in a damn sex shop?

"Ok, you're not... You're dreaming all this." I snapped my head back and gave Jett a look.

"JETT!" I yelled out… I was trying not to freak out about this. But how can I not! I am in a sex shop! And god knows what is going to happen to me! I was getting ready to tell Jett someone when this door opened and a big man walked in, He was decked out all in leather and was holding a whip. "JETT THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GET US INTO THIS TIME?"

"Oh baby, we haven't gotten into anything just yet." That man said. I turned to Jett and gave him worried look. "What is your safe word?" The man asked as he comes closer to us. Jett and I shared a look…

(Kendall POV)

Well I woke up again with another headache I think it was still the same one. I was still a little out of it. I picked my head up and seen nothing but darkness.

"What the hell now?" I tried to move but I wasn't able to. I felt my hands tied behind my back and my legs tired as well. Then with no warning whatever was on my head came flying off. I tried to adjust to the light that shinned in the room. But my it wasn't working.

"Ok blondie we have had enough of the run around where are the other two?" I looked up to see a man in a white suit looking down at me. He looked like the monopoly guy except one side of his body was pink. The more I looked at him… "Oh Crap…" My brain hit me with a memory. The more I thought about it the more I busted out laughing. I couldn't stop. "Do you think this is funny boy?" I looked up at him and tried to hold on my laugher

"N-noo sir… But then again it was…" I watched an evil smile come to this man's face. He looked to me, grinned, and then smiled at the man who was standing next to him.

"Get the duct tape and jumper cables."

"Wait, what?"

(Logan POV)

Never in my life do I wanna go thought that ever again. Jett and I were walking well Jett was limping and I was holding my nibbles. I am never drinking again. This day keeps getting worse and yet we still haven't found Kendall, I was starting to worry about him.

"I don't think I will be able to walk normal again." Jett said. I stopped and slowly turned around to face him. He and I shared a look. "Logan… look…"

"WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOU! YOU'RE NOT THE ONE THAT HAD HIS NIBBLES SHOCKED OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND THEN HAD HOT WAXS POURED ON HIM! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! AHHHH!" I jumped towards Jett and we both fell and hit the ground. I grabbed Jett by his shirt and was getting ready to hit him when I felt something shoot into me I look down and saw it belong to a Taser. I looked up and saw a man dressed in a pink Toto with wings then I passed out.

(Jett POV)

My ass is killing me; I didn't think they made things that big. Once that man was done with us he thanks us and let us go. I knew Logan was pissed, I somewhat remember coming in here and signing is up for that. We were walking down the alley when Logan went all-insane and attacked me yet again. Logan had jumped on me, getting ready to hit me when someone shot him with a Taser. I watched him fall, jerk, and twitch a few times on the ground before I looked up to see this big black man dressed in a pink Toto with wings coming my way.

"Please don't kill me." I said as I was shot with another Taser. I hit the ground and before I before I passed out a saw two little people walking our way with pitchfork. "We are so fucked."

(Logan POV)

I groaned out once again I didn't know how long I was out, I woke up yet again to see three figures in the room. I could make out a few colors. My eyes opened a little more as I did, I saw that I was looking at the ceiling. I sat up and hit someone. "Ouch…"

"Oh thank God you're awake Logie bear!" I heard that familiar voice. I let my eyes get used to the light and saw big greens eye looking at me.

"Kendall! Thank God!" I yelled out and threw myself at him. We both fell back into those balls that you know are in a ball pit.

"Wow, there Logie I am here. Didn't know I would be missed that much." I pushed myself up and look around Kendall and I were sitting in a kid's ball pit. I looked around some more and seen that Jett wasn't with us.

"Where is Jett?" I had to ask. Kendall smiled at me then he pointed to the left. I saw Jett he was hanging upside down tired to a pole. "What the hell did we get ourselves into to?" I asked Kendall. He smiled at me.

"Well, first things first" Kendall said and grabbed me and crashed his lips to mine. I was in total shock. I froze before I kissed him back. We broke apart and Kendall gave me that smile. "I didn't get to kiss you when we got married last night."

"I KNEW IT!" I yelled out and threw myself at Kendall again.

"If you two are done making out down there GET ME THE HELL OUT HERE" Kendall and I both turned our heads when we heard Jett yelling.

"Well, well, well if it isn't the boys who stole my money and goat last night and took out 6 of my men with pink paint." I grabbed Kendall hand and started to shake. Shit I never something like this was going to happen.

"Hey, aren't you the monopoly guy?" I said, I don't know why I did that. Maybe all the hits to the face and being shocked God know how many times finally got to me. I turn back to see Kendall smile at me and that is when I noticed he was messing two teeth.

"Where is MOE?" I looked to Kendall and just gave him a weak smile.

"Logan… Please tell me he isn't what I think he is?"

"Logan just tell him!" Kendall and I heard Jett say… I shot Jett a look and then smiled wide at the monopoly guy.

"Oh tell him that we somehow killed the goat in our drunken state last night…"

"You what" I jumped at the man's voice. I then got what I just said. Before anything else, happened, the door to the room was swung open and cops came in yelling and raising their guns. Some of them ran to the men and threw them down onto the ground. I watched as that man from earlier walk right up to Kendall and me.

"Good work Mr. Knight and Mr. Mitch… Oh, I mean Mr. Night. If it wasn't for you boys we would have never caught them. I stood there in Kendall arms for a few minute before it happened again.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! WILL SOME ONE PLEASE TELL ME?" I yelled out. I was so damn confused about everything. I felt Kendall arms go around me. I looked back and seen him smiling.

"Well we ran into you boys last night at the club. You three were really drunk and acting crazy. We were on a sting operation when your friend over there." The man said pointing to Jett. "Decided to steal John Lewis goat, we have been after this man and his drug ring for over two years. So we followed you boys thought out the night. We knew that after what had happened they would come for you. so we just followed you boys again and waited. Oh and one more thing, you three shouldn't get drunk ever again…

"Oh my God, Oh my God." I said.

"Logie, it's all going to be alright." Kendall said. I turned to him I could feel it coming and I let it all out.

"WE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED AND YOU PEOPLE LET US DO ALL THOSE THINGS WHICH I STILL DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENed! I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND WHO I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH FOR YEARS, GOT BEATED UP BY PINK SQUIRRELS, STOCKED, PUNCHED, KICKED IN THE NUTS! AND SO MUCH MORE! AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE DAMN TREE I CANNOT GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I yelled out all in one breath. I fell to the ground and wrapped my hands around my knees.

"Son, if you three want to know what happened we filmed everything…"

**Hey, give me your ideas on what you think happened to Logan, Kendall and Jett... :) i might us them... wait to see what what was with the squirrels and Logan! **


End file.
